Matt & Maxie
by meowfics
Summary: This is a fanfic I've had in the works for a while now. It's essentially the same format of the original show, but with quite a few changes and OC's of my own. Basically, Skinner's entire character has been erased, and in place of him is my female OC named Maxie. Bucket is also renamed Matt, hence "Matt & Maxie". I really like how it came out and I hope y'all agree! :)


MATT & MAXIE

 ******Below is a list of other important changes/things to note before reading****:**

 **-The show is simply called "Matt and Maxie" rather than "Matt and Maxie's Epic Adventures" as I felt that title seemed a bit too long and unnecessary**

 **-^^with this in mind, the episodes I'll be formatting much like the episodes from the show "Austin & Ally", where the title includes two words, "blank & blank", which either begin with the same letter or rhyme in some way, both relating to the main plot of each episode**

 **-Three Pieces has been renamed Mikey (again, Three Pieces is too weird of a name in my opinion) but in this version, he's actually Maxie's uncle/caretaker**

 **-Maxie's character is an attractive red-headed girl who's a bit of a princess**

 **-Matt is quite a bit more book smart than Bucket although he's not necessarily a genius (important to note for a later episode I'm working on!) and in retrospect, Maxie is on the dim-witted side but has excellent street smarts at times, definitely not obnoxiously stupid like Skinner**

 **-With the secondary main character now being female, it's important to note that Maxie and Matt NEVER end up together and remain strictly friends throughout, despite her attractiveness gaining her quite a bit attention from other boys**

 **-^^with _this_ in mind, Maxie is Aloe's main love interest and has been long before the series begins, this of course justifying his hatred of Matt much more than just the fact that Matt "cut him off on his board when they were kids" or whatever**

 **-Matt still has a huge crush on Kelly as well**

 **-Mikey still owns the surf shop but hasn't surfed in almost ten years, because of that he's now taken up several other strange/humorous hobbies on the side**

 **-Mikey and Maxie own quite a few animals consisting of four cats and two dogs, the cats he exclusively enters in cat shows as an example of a strange/humorous hobby he's taken up**

 **-With Skinner out of the picture, Piper's school-girl affections are now aimed at Matt, and in retrospect her aggressions/annoyances are aimed at Maxie**

 **-I've written everything in a "script" format, at least for now**

 **-Matt and Maxie both have older brothers who are in their early 20's, Matt's brother is Cameron and Maxie's brother is Robbie, who I actually plan to make an appearance in one of the episodes "played" by Nickelodeon veteran Drake Bell respectively, Cameron I don't plan to make an appearance at this time but that could also change**

 _The first "chapter" I'll be posting is, of course, the first episode "Epic Election" (Now renamed "Elections and Deceptions") re-written with my characters/changes. I think it came out pretty freaking awesome and hopefully, you guys agree! Enjoy :)_

* * *

Episode I: Elections & Deceptions

 **SCENE I:** Boardwalk/Surf Shop

Matt: [is walking on the boardwalk looking around for Maxie, he is in his wetsuit after surfing and is holding several tacos in one hand and his board in the other] Max? Maxie? [he sets his board against the wall, still looking around and then finally spots Maxie, who's rinsing her hair out in an outdoor shower, he approaches her] Oh, there you are. [then looks perplexed] What are you doing?

Maxie: Rinsing out my hair, I don't want it to smell like salt water for the rest of the day.

Matt: [looks slightly taken aback] I don't think salt water has a "smell", Max.

Maxie: Everything has a smell if you smell it.

Matt: [gives her a weird look]

Maxie: [stands up and begins drying her hair off with a towel]

Matt: Oh...kay. [handing her one of the tacos] I got you a taco.

Maxie: [lights up, taking it from him and squealing in happiness] Ahhheeee! [giddily takes a bite, talking with her mouth full] Ugh! It's like heaven in a shell. [after a moment she speaks again with her mouth still semi full] Dude, how sick were those waves this morning?

Matt: So sick! Varsity surf team is gonna be calling our name. [begins eating his taco as well as they walk toward the surf shop]

Maxie: And when that mongo storm hits later on this week, ohhh man! That's gonna be SO epic! Fifteen-foot waves, Matthew! Do you have ANY idea how big that is?!

Matt: Um, fifteen feet?

Maxie: [makes a face at him for his smart-aleck comment, then makes an "ugh" noise at him] Ughhhh!

Matt: [playfully mimics her in response] Ughhhh!

Maxie: But seriously, we're surfing when that storm hits, right?

Matt: [smiles] You know it! [puts up his hand for a high five, unknowingly the hand which he is holding his taco with] Up top!

Maxie: [high-fives him, only to have his taco splatter all over the two of them as a result]

Maxie: [gives Matt a look] Oh, Matthew. You would high-five me with your taco hand.

Matt: [awkwardly] Yeah... [pauses before smiling at her] Wanna do it again?

Maxie: Duh! [they high-five once more with their tacos in each hand, and are once again splattered with the crumbled tacos, she and Matt laugh] Breakfast is fun.

 _(scene continues as they walk into the surf shop, "Rip Town Surf")_

Maxie: [she and Matt walk into the Surf Shop, where Maxie's uncle, Mikey, can be seen in the background, she eyes a piece of taco shell on Matt's shoulder] Hey, you've got a-

Matt: What, what?

Maxie: It's cool, I got it. [takes the piece of taco shell off of his shoulder and eats it]

Matt: [grins and rolls his eyes in response before they both begin brushing themselves off]

Mikey: [sees them] Hey, M and M. [as they continue brushing themselves off] Woah! You're gettin' whatever you're covered in all over the merch!

Maxie: Sorry, Uncle Mikey. We just had a bit of a "taco-splosion".

Mikey: Max, you're my only niece and you know I love you, but I've told you about a pa-jillion times now: no food in the shop!

Delivery Boy: [comes walking in with a twelve-inch sub in his hands] Excuse me? I've got a delivery for a Mister... [reading off the ticket in his hands] Mikey?

Maxie: [she and Matt look at Mikey suspiciously]

Delivery Boy: I've got a special order of... [continues reading off ticket] "a twelve inch meatball sub with extra meatballs and please substitute more meatballs instead of cheese, you know what just go ahead and substitute more meatballs instead of bread too, actually no nevermind haha that wouldn't make it a sub now would it..."

Maxie: [looks down, clearly embarrassed]

Delivery Boy: [continues reading off the rest of Mikey's "special order"] "Also, there's no food allowed in my shop which I tell everyone even though I eat in here all the time so when you deliver this please be discreet-" oh... [immediately stops talking, realizing his mistake of reading that all off out loud]

Mikey: [turns to look at Maxie and Matt, who are both giving him major looks now, then turns back to the delivery boy] I think you got the wrong address, buddy.

Delivery Boy: Are you sure? Isn't this...[reading ticket] 347 Palm Aven-

Mikey: [cuts him off quickly snatching the ticket out of his hand and throwing it to the side before physically forcing him out of the building through the front door, talking quickly as he does so] Yeah no wrong address bye now! [closes the front door]

Delivery Boy: [looks to the side of the building next to the front door] Dude, it says right here the address is 347-

Mikey: [turns back around, cutting off the delivery boy once more, yelling] GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!

Delivery Boy: [quickly books it out of there]

Maxie: [she and Matt look at each other then back at Mikey like, "Seriously?"]

Mikey: [to Matt and Maxie] Moral of the story: follow the rules. Okay?

Maxie: [nods] Sure.

Mikey: Cool. Now, if you'll excuse me... [suddenly turns and bolts outside, clearly running after the delivery guy he just scared off]

Matt: [looks considerably weirded out as he watches Mikey run off] Wow...

Maxie: Yup. This is my life. [she and Matt then continue to brush themselves off]

Kelly: [enters the shop]

Matt: [sees her and frantically turns to Maxie, talking to her quietly] Oh, man! Kelly just walked in! [as he turns and looks at Kelly, he has a fantasy sequence in which romantic music plays and Kelly flips her hair around in slow motion, smiling, Matt is then shown to be simultaneously gazing at her happily, and it then cuts back to his fantasy sequence]

Kelly: [in his fantasy] Hey, Matt! I saw you out there on the waves. You're looking good! I think we should make out.

Matt: [his fantasy sequence then ends and he snaps back to reality, after a pause] ...what?

Kelly: I said you should keep paddling out! [tussles his hair playfully before walking back behind the counter]

Matt: [laughs before awkwardly flexing and smiling at her]

Maxie: [gives him a weird look before tapping him on the shoulder] Dude, what are you doing?

Matt: [stops flexing and turns to look at her] I'm just showin' off the guns!

Maxie: [chuckles and shakes her head before putting her hand on his shoulder] Oh, Matthew. We've been through this: you can't show off something that you don't have.

Matt: [gives her an angry look]

Maxie: But that's okay! Because you're still a great guy! One that Kelly would be very lucky to have. [smiles at him and pokes at his shoulder playfully] Huh? Huh?

Matt: [rolls his eyes] Get real, Max. I can't just go after Kelly! She's been our friend forever now, plus she's gorgeous and crazy popular!

Maxie: I'm gorgeous and popular, too!

Matt: Maxie, please.

Maxie: [gives him an angry look as he continues]

Matt: But seriously, there's no way I stand a chance. [sits down on the edge of the landing where some of the clothing racks stand, sulking]

Maxie: Oh, stop it! [leaning down to speak to him more discreetly] Look, it's a lot easier to win girls over than you think.

Matt: [still sulking] How would _you_ know?

Maxie: [glares down at him in astonishment before exclaiming] Because I'm a girl!

Matt: Oh, right. I forget about that sometimes.

Maxie: [rolls her eyes before continuing] Okay, here's what you've gotta do. You've just gotta walk over there right in front of her and be like, "Oh man, am I tired from lifting weights all morning!".

Matt: [gives her a weird look] Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Maxie: [gives him a look] Matt, how many relationships have you been in?

Matt: [looks down and hesitates before answering] None...

Maxie: And how many relationships have _I_ been in?

Matt: [looks back down, fidgeting] A lot...

Maxie: [smiles down at him and puts her hands out as if she's proven her point]

Matt: Fine. [stands up] I'll do it. [walks in front of the counter where Kelly is still standing, begins stretching his arms back and speaking loudly in exaggeration] Oh wow, I am _so_ tired from lifting weights all morning! [begins flexing dramatically]

Maxie: [looks on, trying hard not to laugh]

Kelly: [smiles at Matt awkwardly]

Matt: [smiles nervously back at her as he leans on one of the mannequins, which in turn falls over along with him]

Maxie: [covers her eyes in embarrassment]

Kelly: [looks on at Matt with a shocked look on her face]

Maxie: [rushes over to Matt and talks down to him quietly] Yeah...let's not listen to my advice ever again.

Matt: [gives her a look]

 **SCENE II:** School Hallway

Matt: [seen walking down the school hall with Maxie, both holding their math tests as they look them over, he turns to Maxie] So, how'd you do on that Algebra test?

Maxie: Not good, Matthew. Not good.

Matt: [smiling] Well, I got an A! [holds up his paper proudly to show her]

Maxie: [smiles back at him] Aw! [reaches her hand toward his test] Can I see that?

Matt: [smile fades] Are you gonna hit me with it?

Maxie: No.

Matt: [reluctantly hands her his test]

Maxie: Yes. [hits him in the head with it]

Matt: [gives her a look and then looks up from behind her, seeing Kelly's little sister, Piper, holding a box of cookies and talking with several other students in the stairwell, his eyes widen] Oh, no! It's Kelly s little sister!

Maxie: Um, you mean Piper? You know she has a name, right?

Piper: [looks over and sees them]

Matt: Dang it! I think she sees us!

Maxie: [quickly turning away from her] Walk away, walk away...

Piper: [just as they begin walking hastily in the other direction, she is quick to catch up with them before they can get away, taunting them as she speaks] Well, well, well.

Matt: [he and Maxie hesitantly turn to face her]

Piper: If it isn't the two love-birds who won't admit that they're love-birds.

Maxie: [sighs, looking at Matt] Oh, Matt. She's right. We are love-birds, aren't we?

Matt: [sighs as well, nodding] Yes, Maxie. We shouldn't hide it anymore. We are in love with each other. [he and Maxie then turn to look at each other dramatically for a brief moment, but soon they both smirk and burst out in laughter]

Maxie: [still laughing] Oh, man. My whole day was just made. [looks down at the open box Piper is holding] Hey, are those cookies? [goes to grab one]

Piper: [quickly slams the box shut before she can, snapping at her] Nine bucks a box!

Maxie: [smiles] Well, little miss Piper, it just so happens that I... [goes to grab her money, but then realizes that she doesn't have her purse with her, her smile quickly fades] Don't have my purse! [turns and looks at Matt with a shocked expression on her face] Oh, man! I must have left it in Algebra! BRB! [suddenly runs off]

Matt: [yelling after her] No! Don't leave me with Pi - [stops and exhales before he can finish saying her name as he turns to face her, seeing that she is glaring back up at him, he then smiles and waves down at her awkwardly] Hi...

Piper: [after a brief pause] So. You and Maxie really aren't together?

Matt: [annoyed] No, Piper. We're not.

Piper: [smiles at this] Good. Because you're looking pretty cute this year.

Matt: [glares down at her in surprise]

Piper: [winks at him before walking the other way]

Sven: [approaching with a stereo playing alongside Aloe]

Aloe: [dancing to the beat as he makes his way around the corner, smiling at Matt deviously then snaps his finger at Sven to turn the stereo off, which he immediately does] I knew I smelled sophomore meat! Why are you just standing out here by yourself? Aw, do you still not have any friends?

Sven: Oh, burn! [he high fives Aloe]

Matt: Come on, Aloe. So I accidentally cut you off on my board when we were kids. Let it go.

Aloe: [yelling] Never!

Maxie: [heard approeaching] Hey, Matt!

Aloe: [eyes grow wide, quietly to Sven] Oh, no! It's Maxie! [looking at her as she approaches] Ugh, why does she have to look so cute every time I see her?!

Matt: [as Maxie makes her way back over] Hey, Max. You get your purse?

Maxie: [breathing heavily, leaning against her locker dramatically] Yes. Sorry, I just...I was really scared. I need a minute.

Matt: Gees, Max. It's just a purse.

Maxie: [stands up straight, yelling at him in response] WHAT?! [talking to her purse as she rubs it] It's okay, baby. He didn't mean it. [looks up to see Aloe] Oh hey, Aloe. How's it going?

Aloe: [suddenly losing all of his cool] It...goes...good, Maxie.

Sven: [hits him lightly on the shoulder to snap him out of it]

Aloe: [talking in a deep voice] It's going good, Maxie.

Maxie: [oblivious] So, I hear you re running for class president. That's pretty cool.

Aloe: Yeah I am! This election is about to be OTH! That means off the hizook.

Matt: Off the "what-ook"?

Aloe: [snapping at him] Why are you talking?!

Maxie: [to Aloe] So, you got a good campaign going? Or...podium I mean? Or... [shaking her head] I don t know about president stuff.

Matt: You were right the first time, Max.

Maxie: Oh, podium?

Matt: No, not...[sighs] remind me to help you study more.

Aloe: [brushing hard past Matt, moving him out of the way as he approaches closer to Maxie] As a matter of fact, I am doing very well this year. Sven, hook the lovely lady and [not even looking at Matt, but clearly referring to him] that person over there up with my "Aloe 4 Prez" caps.

Sven: [gives one to Maxie and throws one at Matt]

Matt: [catches it, walking back over beside Maxie, to Aloe] I'm not voting for you, Aloe.

Maxie: [nudges him in the shoulder] Oh come on, Matt! Be nice!

Aloe: [clearly all too happy to snap at Matt as well now that Maxie has done it] Yeah, Matt! [to Maxie] He is unbelievable sometimes! How ever do you put up with it?

Maxie: Well, we've been best buds since we were, like, negative one years old. So...I guess it's a skill that I've developed over the years.

Matt: [giving her a look] Dude. Seriously?

Maxie: [smiling at him] Love you.

Kelly: [enters] Hey, guys! How goes it?

Matt: [seeing her, saying it the exact same way Aloe had said it just a moment ago] It...goes...good, Kelly.

Kelly: [to Maxie] So, Maxie, I wanted to see if you could help me write a piece on the election for the school paper.

Maxie: Boy, Kel, I gotta tell ya, that uh...that sounds _crazy_ lame.

Kelly: Oh come on, Max! It's a lot of work for one person! I've gotta go around and do a personal interview with all of the candidates, Aloe...

Aloe: [quickly cutting her off] Maxie will interview me!

Kelly: Oh...I guess that could work. [turns back to Maxie] You wanna interview Aloe and write about it for me?

Maxie: [whining] Well, how many sentences will I gotta write for this thing?

Kelly: [sighing] I don't know, Maxie. However many you can come up with.

Maxie: It still sounds like a lot of work, like that and the whole interview thing. [turning to Matt] Like maybe Matt could come and help me with the interv-

Aloe: [quick to interrupt her upon hearing this] No! Just you!

Maxie: [looks at him]

Aloe: I just...I find it distracting when there are too many people present in one place.

Matt: There would only be the three of us.

Aloe: [snapping at him once more] DUDE! Could you not be a smart aleck for ONCE?!

Maxie: [to Aloe] Thank you!

Matt: [looks exasperated at Maxie]

Kelly: Alright. I guess the three of us will be spending lots of time together. [goes to walk away]

Matt: [impulsively speaks up] Well, make that the *four* of us, cuz...I m also running for the president...thing...

Maxie: [confused] What? No you're n-

Matt: [looking at her with wide eyes, clearly just saying it to create a distraction] Oh man, Max! Your hair's all messed up!

Maxie: [grabbing the top of her head] AH! Bathroom! [darts the other way]

Kelly: [to Matt] Oh, hey, that actually works out perfectly! Now I can interview Aloe while Maxie interviews you!

Matt: Well...

Aloe: Maybe it should be the other way around...

Matt: It'd be a lot easier...

Aloe: So much easier...

Kelly: What? Having Maxie just interview you is way easier! I mean, you guys hang out like every second of every day!

Aloe: But...

Matt: I don't...

Kelly: [turning to Aloe] Okay I'll catch you later for that interview, Aloe!

Matt: Wait!

Aloe: No!

Kelly: [walks away]

Aloe: [after watching Kelly walk away in disappointment, he then turns to Matt, scoffing] Wow. Matt for prez? HA! I am so going to destroy you! [looking up] Even if I don't get my time alone with Maxie...

Matt: [looks at him, weirded out]

Aloe: [snaps back to reality once more, looking at Matt] Well...anyway...Aloe OUT!

Sven: [turns the stereo back on as they both exit and "dance" away]

Matt: [leans back against his locker, clearly unsure of everything]

 **SCENE III** : Taco Taco Taco

Maxie: [sitting at a table across from Matt who has a laptop in front of him, looking at Maxie as she simply sits there playing with the ends of her hair, performing her "interview"] So... [looking at him] what are some of your...qualities?

Matt: [glares at her in amazement] You didn't even prepare for this interview, did you?

Maxie: What's there to prepare for? All you do is ask questions!

Matt: Wow. [closing his laptop and folding his arms on top of it, sighing] I really wish Kelly was here right now.

Maxie: [still messing with her hair as she speaks] And I kind of wish I was interviewing Aloe instead. At least he would have plenty to say about himself.

Matt: That's because he s a self-centered jerk!

Maxie: I don t see what you have against him! I think he's nice!

Matt: Ugh! [dramatically flops his head down into his arms on the table, muffled] What am I gonna do?

Maxie: Oh, don't start with that already. You're the one who volunteered yourself for this.

Matt: [lifting his head back up] That's because I thought I was going to be spending time with Kelly!

Maxie: [finally putting her hair down] Then why didn't you just volunteer to help her with the paper instead of me? [flips back the piece of hair she was messing with]

Matt: Because then I would've gotten stuck interviewing Aloe! [sighs] Maybe we should just have YOU run for president so that I can interview you and help Kelly.

Maxie: [putting her hands up] Woah, kid. You and I both know I ain t president material.

Matt: [pause] Yeah, you're right...

Piper: [approaching their table from behind Matt, tauntingly] Well, hello again, you two. Having a nice date?

Matt: [turning to face her, annoyed] Very funny, Piper.

Maxie: Hilarious. What do you want?

Piper: Well, rumor has it that "President" Matt's campaign is on life support, and I thought I could help.

Matt: We don't need any help.

Piper: [sweetly, though she clearly doesn't mean it] Oh, of course you don't. [angrily] Listen, Matthew!

Maxie: Woah...[to Matt] I have never heard anyone call you that except me.

Piper: Are you done, Maximus?!

Matt: [amused] Ha! Maximus...

Piper: Listen here, you two, I win things! That's what I do! So if you wanna know how to take down Aloe, I'll be in my booth. [turns and walks away]

Maxie: Dang. She's more fiery than me and she's not even the one with the red hair.

Matt: [turning back around in his seat] She'll be alright.

Maxie: Why would she wanna help you anyway?

Matt: Well

Maxie: he admitted that she liked you, didn't she?

Matt: Pretty much.

Maxie: [chuckles, shaking her head] knew it.

Matt: Okay, let's focus. What other questions do you have for me?

Maxie: [thinking] Hmm... [looking up, trying to put some kind of question together, simultaneously moving her hands around in a very animated fashion as she speaks] How do you feel... [looking at him, still trying to put her question together] ...about the octopuses...that are...dying?

Matt: [glares at her, completely baffled and weirded out]

Maxie: [quickly] Let's get Piper. [she and him both get up from their table and head over to Piper's booth, where she's sitting with her hands folded in front of her looking in their direction, clearly having expected them to change their mind and want her help]

Matt: [going and sitting across from her, sliding in the booth along with Maxie, to Piper] So...what can you do for our campaign?

Piper: First, you buy thirty boxes of cookies. Non-negotiable.

Matt: What? There s no way we can-

Maxie: [interrupting] Done! [getting out her purse] How much is it gonna be altogether? [opens her wallet]

Piper: [smiling] $270.

Maxie: Okay... [pulls out a bunch of cash from her wallet] Let me just count this out... [begins to do so]

Matt: [looks amazed] What the- where did you get all that money, Max?

Maxie: I got a ton of birthday cash from my cousin, Laurie.

Matt: Gees. She gave you _that_ much?

Maxie: Yeah, I mean she's a heart surgeon and she got married to this guy who's a brain surgeon so they're pretty much just overflowing with money.

Matt: Huh. I didn't know about this.

Maxie: Yeah, well, you learn something new every day, Matthew. [gets all of the cash together and hands it to Piper] There you go.

Matt: Well, anyway... [turns to Piper] Tell us your plan, Piper.

Piper: Well, these school campaigns are basically all about popularity. So, since you're not very popular... [pause] at all...

Matt: [looks from her to Maxie]

Maxie: [shrugs at him, as if to say "Well, she's not wrong..."]

Matt: [turns back to Piper]

Piper: I think that we should hook you up with someone who is. [smiles] My sister.

Maxie: [smiling in amusement] Bow-chicka-wow-

Matt: [elbows her]

Maxie: Ow!

Matt: Piper, how could possibly expect to make people believe that Kelly and I are dating?

Piper: [opens her laptop] With these! [turns and shows the screen to them, revealing several blatantly photoshopped pictures of Matt and Kelly together in several romantic locations]

Maxie: [looking grossed out] Oh, those are just highly disturbing. [to Piper] Not to mention obviously fake.

Piper: People don't know that!

Maxie: Well, I know it...and I'm a "people".

Piper: [frustrated] You opinion is irrelevant, carrot top! The only opinion that matters is that of our presidential candidate. [to Matt] Well?

Matt: [thinking it over] I guess it's worth a shot.

Piper: [smilling, pulling her arm down as she says it] Yes!

 **SCENE IV:** School Hallway

Maxie: [walking down the school halls besides Matt]

Matt: [his phone rings and he hands it to her]

Maxie: [rolls her eyes and answers it, talking to Piper on the other end] Hey, Piper. [pause] Oh, no. This is Maxie. Matt wants me to answer his calls now. Yes, Mr. Presidential candidate who s falsely dating Kelly is already getting a bit of an ego. [brief pause] Yeah, the pictures went around and things are going surprisingly well. [pause] What's that? [another pause] What color is Matt s shirt? [looks down at Matt's shirt, which has television color bars on it] I don t know...he's got, like, a million different colors going on. [pause] Does it match his eyes? Well, no. His eyes are dirt brown. [pause] Huh? [brief pause] Oh, let me see. [goes in and smells Matt's hair, then immediately pulls away in disgust] Ugh! No, Piper. It does not smell like cinnamon. It smells like straight up sweat and nastiness. [looks at Matt] Guess someone doesn't feel the need to shower after gym class...

Matt: [snatches his phone away from Maxie and hangs up]

Maxie: Aw! That was rude!

Matt: Max, I don't know if I can go along with this! Piper's idea is crazy! Like, I can't just-

Maxie: [putting her hand out in front of him to stop him] Don't start. We haven't even been in the school for two minutes. [looking around, then back at him] Now, you remember the plan, right?

Matt: Well, yeah, but this isn't-

Maxie: [stopping him again] Ah! No! [pause, looking past him, sees Kelly walking their way, turns to the door beside them, the girl's locker room] Kelly's on her way over, let me go make sure the coast is clear in the girl's locker room. [goes inside briefly, then comes back out to get him] Okay, we're clear! [quickly pushing him inside from behind] Go, go, go!

Matt: [looking around the room, observing the area] Woah, pink lockers?

Maxie: [sarcastically] Yes, Matthew, because we're girls. Shocking, right? Now, get in the stall! [pushes him into one of the stalls while he closes the door behind him]

Kelly: [enters, seeing Maxie] Oh, hey girl! What's going on?

Maxie: [smiling] Oh, you know me! [pause] Man, I'm exhausted. Matt kept me up all night trying to get me to help him with some stupid school project. Apparently, he's gotta come up with a country song for his music class.

Kelly: Music class? That s a thing?

Maxie: [quickly] Yes, yes it is. Matt did end up coming up with a song on his own, though. It's called "Pick You Up at 7:00, Honey". And look, I know it's a really, really dumb title, but he's really proud of it. So, you know, if he asks what you think, just go with it.

Kelly: [opening her locker] Oh, yeah. No problem.

Maxie: Okay, cool. I'm just, a... [begins walking slowly backward] ...gonna step on over this way now... [exits to the other side of the locker room where she's only heard, not seen, she screams loudly] Kelly! Come quick!

Kelly: [concerned] Maxie? [rushes over to where Maxie is]

Matt: [peeks out from the stall and rushes over behind a trash can in the corner, hastily applying a bunch of lip gloss around his mouth]

Maxie: [only heard] Oh, sorry! I thought I saw a spider.

Kelly: [walking back over to the front of the locker room with Maxie] Gees, Max! You scared me!

Maxie: [looks over to Matt behind the trash can, still talking to Kelly] Yeah, well...

Matt: [gives her a look like, "Come on!"]

Maxie: [quickly to Kelly] Are you, like, heading off to class soon, or...?

Kelly: [looking up at the clock] Oh, yeah. I better get going. I'll see you later! [goes to leave]

Maxie: See ya. And Kel, don't forget... [whispering] _you like the song!_

Kelly: [nods and winks her one eye at Maxie in agreement before turning and exiting the locker room]

Matt: [rushes over to Maxie, referring to the lip gloss] How does it look? Does it look legit?

Maxie: Yeah, as legit as it can, I guess. Go get em, Tiger. [puts her hand out]

Matt: [high fives it and grabs it] Yeah, buddy! [rushes back out into the school hallway, yelling after Kelly as she's still walking away] Hey, Kel. Pick you up at 7:00, honey?

Kelly: [yelling back to him] Yup. Works for me, cowboy. [goes around the corner, exiting the scene]

Aloe: [he, Sven, and several others are glaring at Matt in astonishment]

Maxie: [shown leaning against the doorway looking proudly at Matt]

Matt: [approaches Aloe, referring to the napkin in his hand] May I? [snatches the napkin, wiping the lip gloss off of his face, to Aloe] Women, am I right? [starts to walk away]

Aloe: [continues glaring at him along with Sven]

Maxie: [happily rushes over to Matt, hugging him from the side as they both walk off]

 **SCENE V:** Beach

Matt: [standing against a palm tree with his arms folded, people crowded all around him as he speaks] So, anyway, that's the last time Maxie and I partied at Chase's. [smiles as everyone laughs]

Boy 1: That was an awesome story.

Girl 1: So awesome!

Boy 2: So, is Maxie single then?

Matt: [to the boy] Um...yes?

Boy 2: Sweet! [runs off]

Aloe: [shown in his tower, pacing, to Sven] What's happening now?!

Sven: [looking down at the scene through binoculars] Well, everyone's still all crowded around Matt...

Aloe: UGH! I can't believe this!

Sven: Well, actually a few guys just walked away and... [pause] uh-oh.

Aloe: [looking up at him] What?

Sven: Well, they're over talking to Maxie now...

Aloe: They're _what?!_ [snatches the binoculars out of Sven's hand and looks down to see for himself, and it is in fact shown that several boys including the one from before are over talking to Maxie, he angrily throws the binoculars down] This _cannot_ be happening! First Matt's dating Kelly, beating me in the presidential race as a result, and NOW _my_ future wife is getting the attention of Matt's male followers?! That's it! We are putting an end to this! [stops, looking down suddenly]

Kelly: [shown walking over to Matt while on the phone, Aloe and Sven are shown still observing in the background the whole time] Let me call you back... [hangs up and speaks to Matt] Hey, Matt, have you heard this rumor that-

Matt: [interrupting her so that she doesn't spill the beans] That we have a lunch lady that used to be a dude? [turning to the crowd of people] Crazy, right?!

Girl 2: Oh em gee! I heard about that, too!

Matt: [looks weirded out as he clearly didn't mean it and was just trying to say something crazy to draw the attention away, Kelly then pulls him aside]

Kelly: No... [once they're away from everyone, closer to Aloe's tower] ...the rumor about you and I dating?

Aloe: [overhearing this, hits Sven on the chest as if to say, "hold up!"]

Kelly: [still talking to Matt] Some people were saying they saw a picture of you and I on a cruise in Hawaii.

Matt: What? That's ridiculous! Can you imagine the two of _us_ together?

Aloe: [wide-eyed, overhearing all of this]

Matt: [to Kelly with a small chuckle in his voice as he says all of it rather quickly] How absolutely awkward would that be even though it wouldn't have to be awkward unless one of us made awkward in fact it may actually happen when we least expect it so we should rule it out just saying. Okay, Kells, bye! [runs off]

Kelly: [looks weirded out but just shakes her head and walks away, clearly not thinking any more of it.

Aloe: So, they aren't actually dating?

Sven: [looking out to where Maxie is] I wonder if Maxie knows more about this.

Maxie: [seen sitting and laughing with several guys still standing around her]

Aloe: [leaps down from his tower, landing perfectly on his feet before rushing over to Maxie]

Sven: [hesitates, but then tries leaping down as well, only to topple to the ground hard] Ah!

Aloe: [pushing his way through all of the guys] Excuse me, coming through, make way for Aloe.

Maxie: [smiling up at him] Oh, hey, Aloe.

Aloe: Maxie... [starting to lose his cool again, smiling back down at her] Hi.

Sven: [makes his way over as well, his hair messed up and several leaves on him]

Aloe: [clears his throat, still speaking to Maxie] May I have a word?

Maxie: Uh, yeah. What's up?

Aloe: I just overheard the most peculiar conversation between Matt and Kelly.

Maxie: [smiling] Aw! The super happy little cuties! Aren't they just the most perfect couple?

Aloe: [super quickly, practically all as one word] NotAsPerfectAsYouAndI...

Maxie: [smile fades slightly] What?

Aloe: [quickly] Anyway! [goes back to what he was saying] Their conversation seemed to suggest something that struck my suspicion.

Maxie: [opening her water bottle] What do you mean? [goes to take a drink]

Aloe: Oh, just that their romance is a total fake.

Maxie: [immediately when he says the word fake, her eyes widen and she pulls the water bottle away from her face, choking a bit of water that clearly went down the wrong pipe, coughing as she tries to speak and catch her breath at the same time] A-a fake? Wh-what do you mean?

Aloe: [looking down at her suspiciously] Are you okay there, Maxie?

Maxie: [still coughing] Y-yeah! Just wr-wrong pipe! [takes a deep breath and pauses with her hand on her chest, then begins speaking again] There, it passed. [looking back up at him] Anyway, what makes you think that their [air quoting the word] "relationship" is fake?

Aloe: Why did you just air-quote "relationship"?

Maxie: [stops, looking down for a long moment, then back up at him] Hm?

Aloe: You used air-quotes when you said [air quoting the word as well to show her] "relationship".

Maxie: [stammering] I-I just [air quoting as she says more words] "do that" it's a "habit"! Oh! There I go "again"!

Aloe: Well, from all the times that I've watched you from afar, I have never seen you do that.

Maxie: Wait, what do you mean watch me from afar?

Aloe: [pauses, at a loss for words] I-

Maxie: [continues talking, clearly oblivious to what his words meant] Like, what even is that word, afar? I've literally never heard that word before. It's like the bad guy from Aladdin, Jafar, but without the J. Like, what? What is that? It's like Jah...afar! [laughs]

Aloe: [looking down at her for a brief moment before looking up at Sven] She s distracting me with her cuteness. I completely forgot what I was talking about.

Sven: Matt and Kelly's fake relationship.

Aloe: Oh, right. [looking down at Maxie, trying to maintain his composure] Maxie, admit that Matt and Kelly's relationship is a total sham!

Maxie: See! What is THAT word now? Sham? It's like, Shamrock, but without the r-

Aloe: [flustered] Stop distracting me!

Maxie: Don't tell me what to do.

Aloe: [submissively] Okay.

Sven: [hits him lightly in the shoulder to snap him back to reality again]

Aloe: Um, Maxie, there's no hiding it! I am going to expose Matt and Kelly s relationship for the total sha- [stops himself from saying sham again] FAKE that it is!

Maxie: Ohhhh...so does sham mean fake?

Aloe: [looking up at Sven, away from her] I can't do this anymore. I'm done. [walks away with Sven]

Maxie: [watches the two of them walk off, tilting her head to the side like a confused dog]

 **SCENE VI:** Taco Taco Taco

Maxie: [running into the restaurant where Matt is standing at the counter on his phone] Matt!

Matt: [looking up at her] Oh, hey, Max! I was just about to text you. So, Kelly almost caught on to our plan today. From here on out, we've gotta be a lot more discreet.

Maxie: I don't know that word. But I did learn a new word today, "sham"! It means "fake", which Aloe is TOTALLY suspecting of your relationship with Kelly!

Matt: Oh, man! I hope I don't run into him anytime soon.

Aloe: [as if on cue, he enters with Sven in tow] Everyone! Eyes one Aloe, like they weren't already.

Matt: [he and Maxie look worried]

Aloe: Matt's relationship with Kelly is a total and complete lie! Fact!

Sven: Oh, no he di-ent!

Maxie: [to Sven] Um, yeah he did, sweetie. I just heard him.

Matt: [moving past Maxie, to Aloe] We're a real couple, Aloe! We just like to keep things on the down-low.

Aloe: Okay. If you re a real couple, bring in real proof!

Maxie: Have you not seen the pictures? There's your proof!

Aloe: I want *actual* proof. How do I know those pictures aren't fake?

Maxie: You mean sham?

Matt: [yelling] Maxie! We get it! You know what sham means!

Maxie: [looking at him] Yeah, Matt, your yelling is not helping your fake relationship... [to Aloe] ...that's totally not fake... [to Matt] ...seem more real... [to Aloe] ...which it most definitely _is_ real.

Aloe: Okay, then. For this "most definitely real" relationship, I want "most definitely real" proof. Right here, tomorrow night.

Maxie: Why not earlier?

Aloe: [submissively] If that's what you want.

Maxie: That is what want.

Aloe: [submissively] Okay, whatever you want.

Matt: [immediately interrupts, raising his voice again] That is NOT what she wants! [to Aloe] Let's just do it tomorrow night, like you said.

Aloe: I listen to Maxie's word, not yours! Tomorrow after school, you can and will bring in legitimate proof of your so-called romance with Kelly. Then, when you obviously won't be able to provide any legitimate proof whatsoever, everyone will see that you've been messing with them! Oh, and FYI...[gesturing up to the varsity football team behind him at their table, glaring down at Matt menacingly] varsity football dudes react poorly to people who mess with them.

Matt: [looking back at them, clearly intimidated] What happens to these people?

Aloe: [gesturing to the salad bar] That entire salad bar gets poured on them. [giddily] Bleu cheese dressing included!

Maxie: [turning back to Aloe after looking at the salad bar, worried] So, um...let's just say that Matt and Kelly's relationship IS a complete lie [quickly] which it isn't! Uh, would anyone who helped Matt spread this supposed lie [quickly] that's definitely not a lie...get the salad bar poured on them, too?

Aloe: Not if they don't want it to.

Maxie: They don't want it to.

Aloe: If they don't want it to, then it won't.

Maxie: [breathes a sigh of relief] Okay, cool. [to Matt, quietly] That'll be too bad for you, though, bud.

Matt: [begins dragging her out with him] You're still helping me.

 **SCENE VII:** Pier

Piper: [sitting at a table, on her phone, making mock crying sounds] Wah, wah! I don't care if you have bills to pay! You have 24 hours to get me money, or you will face the consequences [evilly] And trust me, honey, the consequences will be _dire._ [suddenly reverts to a sweet tone of voice] Love you, grandma! See you tomorrow! [hangs up]

Matt: [approaching her table with Maxie in tow]

Piper: [lighting up when she sees him] Oh! What's up, brown eyes?

Matt: What's up? Everything is falling apart! My entire life is ruined!

Maxie: Hey, Matthew, don t you think it's a bit sad that you re the biggest drama queen I know and you re a GUY?

Matt: [to Maxie] Well, I kind of have good reason to be right now! [looking to Piper, but still speaking to both her and Maxie] If I can't come up with proof that my relationship with Kelly is legit, then I'm a day away from becoming covered in bleu cheese!

Piper: [confused] What?

Maxie: [yelling down at her, repeating what Matt just said] HE'S A DAY AWAY FROM BECOMING COVERED IN BLEU CHEESE!

Piper: [still clearly confused] I... [shakes it off] Okay, I'll just go with it. [to Matt] That's too bad, Matt, but you're not the only one going through a hard time right now, okay? [looks down at her laptop, stressed] This cookie war is taking it's toll on me.

Maxie: What? Are you losing?

Piper: [kicks her in the leg]

Maxie: [keels over in pain, holding her leg] Ow!

Piper: [menacingly to her] I don't...lose. [trying to calm herself down] There'ss just been a temporary decrease in sales. People trying to be healthy and watching their cholesterol. Hippies!

Matt: Can we focus on me here?

Maxie: [upset] Or maybe we could focus on the ginormous bruise that I'm going to have on my leg for the rest of the week!

Piper: You deserved it.

Maxie: Why?!

Piper: Because you get on my nerves!

Maxie: [glares at her in exasperation]

Piper: [looking back to Matt] Anyway, Matt, if you need proof, the answer is right in front of you!

Matt: I-I m not following. [to Maxie] Are you following?

Maxie: I don't follow anything.

Piper: [rolling her eyes and looking away in amazement] Oh, gees... [looks back at Matt] Matt, you just have to show a video of you kissing Kelly.

Matt: [sarcastically] Gee, okay. You make it sound like it's so simple.

Piper: It is! Kelly's a certified lifeguard who knows mouth-to-mouth. Just secretly tape yourself choking on something in front of her and bam! There you go.

Matt: Huh. I didn't know Kelly was a certified lifeguard. [to Maxie] That's pretty cool, huh, Max?

Maxie: Yeah. I'm not a certified anything.

Piper: And let's hope you never will be...

 **SCENE VIII** : Boardwalk

Maxie: [shown holding a video camera, has it facing her as she checks herself out in the reflection of the lens, fixing her hair and making flirty faces]

Mikey: [walks out from the side door of the surf shop with a box, setting it down before seeing Maxie] Oh, hey, Max. [pause, when she doesn't respond] Max? [after he still doesn't get a response, he raises his voice slightly] _Max?_

Maxie: [finally looks at him] Oh, sorry, Mikey. I just completely forgot you existed.

Mikey: [sarcastically] Gee, thanks. [seeing the camera in her hands] What's with the camera?

Maxie: Well, it's kind of a long story...

Mikey: Oh, okay. Then you don t have to-

Maxie: [cuts him off to begin telling him anyway, speaking really fast] Matt wanted to spend more time with Kelly so he thought that by running for school president she would be able to interview him but then his campaign was epicly failing so Piper was like let's send these fake pictures of you and Kelly around school so people will think you re dating so you ll seem more popular but then Aloe was like Matt your relationship with Kelly is a total fake and if you don't bring proof the football dudes are gonna pour bleu cheese all over you so now I ve gotta secretly tape Kelly giving Matt mouth-to-mouth while he pretends to be choking so it'll seem like they re kissing so we'll have proof and Matt won t get covered in bleu cheese.

Mikey: [looks at her for a moment, clearly not having caught any of that] Okay, I don't think I...got any of that...

Maxie: [starts telling him again, talking just as fast] Matt wanted to spend more time with Kelly so he thought that by-

Mikey: [stopping her] Max, Max, just slow it down a bit.

Maxie: [talking very slowly now] Matt wanted to spend more time with Kelly, so he thought that-

Mikey: [stops her agian] Okay, you know what? Just...just tell me later. I gotta get back to work. [goes back into the surf shop]

Matt: [comes running over to where Maxie is] Kelly's here! She's coming!

Maxie: Oh em gee, Matt, why are you yelling at me?!

Matt: Get into place, Max!

Maxie: Again with the yelling! Did I not just say- [as Matt begins pushing her back] I think we could do without the pushing, too! [once Matt has her against the wall, he puts a surfboard in front of her to hide her position, only heard talking now and not seen] And now you just put a surfboard in front of me to pretend I'm not here? You know, Matthew, I do not appreciate this treatment.

Matt: No more talking Max! Kelly s gonna be here any- [turns and sees Kelly approaching, smiling and talking loudly] HEY, it's Kelly! Kelly's here! [leaning into where the surfboard is, mumbling quickly to Maxie to remain discreet] Don't make a sound. [to Kelly, smiling again, leading her to the table and chairs they have set up] How is everything, Kells?

Kelly: Good, good. Thanks for meeting me!

Matt: Thanks for thanking me to thank you for meeting with me- you!

Maxie: [heard saying it] Yikes...

Kelly: [looking around] What was that?

Matt: Oh, it must've just been a bird or something. [turning around and yelling to where the surfboard is] And we will be hearing no more of it for the duration of this interview! [calmly, turning to Kelly] Shall we begin?

Kelly: [slightly weirded out] Oh...kay. So, Matt, what are your feelings on an increased art budget?

Matt: What an excellent question that I cannot wait to answer. But first, I am going to enjoy this dry salty snack! [takes a bite of one of the cheetos he has in a bowl out on the table in front of them, then quickly begins to fake choking and spits it out] Oh! [falls off of his chair onto the ground, pointing down at himself while looking at Kelly] Choke-king!

Kelly: [standing up] Don t worry! I know the Heimlich!

Matt: [pointing down at himself again, shaking his head] No! Mouth-to-mouth!

Kelly: [looks taken aback, but goes in to do it anyway]

Mikey: [bursts out of the side door of the surf shop] Oh, gees! Matt's choking on store property! That's not gonna be good for business! [goes and picks Kelly up off of him, practically throwing her to the side] Outta my way! [gets down on Matt's level, pushing down on him] Don't you die on me, Matt! That's not gonna look good for the Surf Shop! Think of the Surf Shop! [in response to Matt fighting with him, he trips and hits the surfboard which was keeping Maxie hiding, revealing her holding the camera and recording them]

Kelly: [glares at Maxie]

Maxie: [looks like she's trying to find the words to say]

Matt: [looks from Maxie to Kelly]

Kelly: Maxie, what were you doing behind that board? And why do you have a video camera?

Maxie: Um, I'm taping...for a new reality show that I'm...producing. "Pacific Bluffs...In Real Life"! It's gonna be big. So, just go on with the mouth-to-mouth thing. It's good stuff! [quietly] I'm not here! I'm not here!

Kelly: [making the realization] Wait a sec...mouth-to-mouth? The cruise pictures? Country songs? You two are behind the dating rumors, aren't you?

Matt: [standing up, looking back at Maxie, then back to Kelly] What? No way, that's ridic-

Kelly: [folds her arms, cutting him off] Sing "Pick You Up at 7:00, Honey".

Matt: [begins awkwardly singing in a country accent] Hey, honey. Gonna pick ya up at 7:00. When? At 7:00. Yeah, honey...

Kelly: [looks to the side in disbelief]

Matt: [sighs before speaking] Kelly, I-

Kelly: [stops him] Save it. I can't believe you lied to me!

Maxie: [shown holding the ends of her hair in front of the camera] I can't believe how messed up my ends look in this camera...

Kelly: [shakes her head before storming off]

Matt: [trying to yell after her] Kelly, wait! [pauses, talking quietly] I'm sorry.

Maxie: [closes the camera] Aaaand, that s a wrap! [to Matt] Well, Matthew, T B H, we're gonna have to do some editing.

Matt: [looks at her then looks away, sighing]

 **SCENE IX:** School Hallway

Matt: [walking down the hall with Maxie alongside him] Dang it all, Max. Kelly hates me, and now I've only got 20 minutes until my showdown with Aloe.

Maxie: [taken aback by his words] "Showdown"?! Gees, Matt! You're getting a salad bar poured onto you, not having a fight to the death!

Matt: Well despite that, Max, it's still not a good situation. At all.

Maxie: You know what else isn't a good situation? That huge storm is hitting us right now, and no one in charge of this school is rushing to have us take cover.

Matt: What are we gonna do now?

Maxie: Like I know. [looking around at everyone as she says it] It's straight up hurricane-ning out there and no one seems to care!

Matt: Not about the storm, Max! About _my_ situation.

Maxie: [touching his shoulder] Dude, things will work themselves out. You just gotta stop worrying about it so much!

Matt: [looks down]

Piper: [approaches them wearing a sign advertising her cookies and holding a megaphone]

Maxie: [looking down at the sign] Woah. What is this now?

Piper: [proudly] New marketing campaign.

Matt: Gees, Piper. You're really pushing this whole cookie thing, aren't you?

Maxie: Yeah, I mean, like, what do you even get when you win that thing? Like, a trip to Disney World, or...?

Piper: Even better! The person who sells the most cookies in my class wins a blue ribbon!

Maxie: Uh...don't you think this is a little extreme for just a ribbon?

Piper: [smiling at her, but speaking in a super condescending tone] Oh, Maxie. You're delightfully clueless when it comes to anything and everything. [turns, yelling into her megaphone as she walks away] Cookies! Get your cookies here! COOKIES FOR SALE!

Matt: [to Maxie] In your defense, I would've clapped right back at her saying she's "delightfully" psychotic...but she's anything but delightful.

Maxie: Yeah. Still pretty psychotic, though.

Matt: Oh, she scares me more and more every single day. Anyway, any last minute ideas of getting me out of having a salad bar crammed down my pants?

Maxie: Whoa! I thought they were just gonna pour it on you, not do that! But, you know, I bet those fifteen-foot waves are def going on out there right now with this storm! You could ditch and go surf it up with me!

Matt: Max, I can't. Even if I did ditch, Aloe would still track me down! We could use this minimal time we have to develop a way to diffuse this whole Aloe situation and-

Maxie: [interrupting him] Matthew, seriously, stop talking like you're a human encyclopedia with the big words and the smart talk and the _blah._ Seriously, can you just live your life and quit worrying about everything? Besides, I don't even wanna go if you're not gonna go with me!

Matt: I can't go, Max. I'm sorry. My hands are tied.

Maxie: [grabbing them] No they're not, they're right here in front of you.

Matt: [smiles in amusement] Look, if you wanna go, you can. [pulling his hands back and turning away to walk over to his locker] Surfer code, "nothing comes before waves"...

Maxie: [listens to his words and happily runs off in the other direction]

Matt: But hey, on the other hand, if you wanna stay back and help me work this mess out, cool. That's what best friends are for, right? [turns, looking around] Max? [as Piper's passing by] Hey, Piper, did you see where Max went?

Piper: Yeah. [pointing down the hall] She went running in that direction with a big smile on her face yelling "YAY FOR SURFER CODE!".

Matt: So she left me?

Piper: Looks like it.

Matt: [smiling] Faaantastic. [slams his locker shut, looking back down at Piper] I don't suppose you'd wanna help me get out of this mess?

Piper: I'm flattered you asked, Matthew. But alas, I've already helped you, and as usual, ya messed it all up! [looking down at her phone] Besides, there's apparently a news crew out covering that big storm. [waving her phone in her hand happily] Just got the tweet.

Matt: What does that have to do with anything?

Piper: Uh, hello! News crew? My cookie marketing campaign is gonna skyrocket if I can get some air time.

Matt: So absolutely no chance of you helping me either?

Piper: Oh, no. Definitely not. [leaves]

 **SCENE X:** Taco Taco Taco

Matt: [begrudgingly walks in]

Aloe: [immediately upon spotting him] Well, well, well. If it isn't little Matthew.

Matt: [rolls his eyes]

Aloe: Where's Maxie?

Matt: She ditched me.

Aloe: She did? Wow. Good for her taking a stance on her social status like that.

Sven: [nods in agreement]

Aloe: Now... [putting his wrist out to show everyone] according to my insanely expensive watch, [to Matt] it's time to put up or shut up. You and Kelly, where's the proof?

Matt: In a nonexistent universe, along with my social relevance and ability to care about anything ever again.

Aloe: I...I don't understand. Do have proof or not?

Matt: I do not.

Aloe: [lighting up] Great! So you really DID lie to everyone? Including [gesturing to the football players who have the salad bar read] these large football players? I can't believe you-

Matt: [interrupting, clearly losing patience] Can we just like, get this over with, man?

Aloe: [scoffs] Suit yourself! [pointing happily to the salad bar] Bring on the salad bar!

Sven: [yelling intesely] BRING ON THE SALAD BAR!

Aloe: [turning and glaring up at him] Wow. That was so unnecessary.

Football Players: [go and grab Matt, who simply lets them do so, clearly not caring anymore]

Kelly: [comes storming in] Matthew Taylor! I've got a bone to pick with you!

Aloe: Perfect! This keeps getting better!

Matt: Kells, this really, really isn't a good time.

Kelly: Not a good time?! For ME? How could you say that? I had set up a romantic picnic on the beach for us for our one month anniversary, you don't show, and now you say you don't have time for me?!

Matt: [confused, at a loss for words] I, uh...I don't uh...I can't uh..I...wh-what?

Kelly: How do you not have time for me, Matt? _Me!_

Matt: I-I do! I just, I don't know what you're-

Kelly: [trying to subtly help him catch on] Me, Matt? Your _girlfriend?_

Matt: [finally looks as if he's caught on] Aw, man, babe. I'm sorry.

Aloe: [looks appalled]

Kelly: Yes... [hesitantly] babe...[goes up to him and grabs him away from the football guys] You better make this up to me.

Maxie: [runs in, looking around frantically] What happened? Did I miss it? What's going on?

Aloe: [smiles upon seeing her] Maxie! Uh...[points to Matt and Kelly] can you verify this?

Maxie: Verify what?

Matt: [geniunely confused] Yeah, verify what?

Kelly: It's okay, Max. Thanks so much for telling me where Matt was. So that I could, uh, take him over for our one-month anniversary picnic...thing. [to Matt] That is what I said, right?

Matt: [quietly] Yes.

Kelly: [nodding] Okay, good...

Maxie: [smiling] You're so welcome, cuties. [to Matt] Both of you.

Matt: [smiling as well when he realizes Maxie was the one behind this] You sent Kelly here, Max?

Maxie: Of course I did. Anything for mah bestie.

Aloe: [looking at Matt and Kelly] Him and her? My world makes no sense!

Maxie: Things rarely ever makes sense in this big crazy world, sweetie. But that's okay. [pats him on the shoulder, then turns to Matt who fist bumps her happily]

Aloe: [turning, looking up at Sven with a surprised] Did you hear that? She called me sweetie!

Sven: She's totally just flirted with you, man!

Maxie: Okay, well let's dip. Ginormous waves are still going on and we've gotta hurry if we wanna get on em! [turns to leave, but then turns back around, to Kelly] Oh, Kells, can you hand me my purse, sweetie?

Aloe: [smile fades upon hearing her call Kelly "sweetie" too]

Maxie: [after Kelly hands her purse to her] Fanks. Let's rock and roll! [she, Matt, and Kelly all rush out]

Matt: [yelling as they do] Yeah buddy!

Aloe: Oh, yeah. Maxie calls everyone "sweetie".

Sven: [shakes his head]

 **EPILOGUE SCENE:** Surf Shop

Maxie: [to Matt as they walk into the shop] Dude, I can't believe you lost the election! Even after everything that we did!

Matt: It's all good. I think lazy eyed Jeff will make a great president.

Maxie: Well I think it's stupid! We should impeach!

Matt: Max, no, that-that's not right. Close, but...no.

Maxie: [shrugging] Told you I don't know about president stuff.

Matt: By the way, thanks again for getting Kelly to save me.

Maxie: Of course. You're my BFF, Matt. I couldn't just up and leave ya hanging!

Matt: [smiles]

Mikey: [now seen in the background] What are you guys talking about? [no answer] Guys? [raising his voice slightly] Guuuys?

Matt: [turning to face him] Oh, sorry, Mikey, didn't even know you were there.

Mikey: [looks confused before walking away]

Matt: By the way... [reaches behind the counter for something] I couldn't leave _you_ hanging either. [hands her a sparkly pink gift bag]

Maxie: What's this?

Matt: Just a little something to say thank you for having my back.

Maxie: [opens it up and takes it out, it unwravels and falls down to the floor, revealed to be a shiny mermaid tail, she lights up excitedly] A mermaid tail?!

Matt: It's swimmable, too. Now you can be the real life mermaid you always wanted.

Maxie: [giving him a look] Matthew, I'm already a real-life mermaid.

Matt: [nods] Right.

Maxie: [smiles] Thank you so so much! [hugs him, then looks down happily at the tail] Now I can at least be in my natural form.

Matt: [nods in agreement]

Mikey: [looking at the TV mounted on the wall, to Matt and Maxie] Guys, Piper's on the news!

Maxie: What? [goes over to see]

Matt: [worriedly as he walks over as well] Oh, my...

News Reporter: [heard on the TV as they all watch] We now go live to Pacific Bluffs beach as a little girl is being rescued from the water. [the scene is then shown, the little girl revealed to be Piper as a lifeguard is carrying her onto the beach]

Maxie: [surprised] Piper?!

Lifeguard: [to Piper] Little girl! Are you okay? Can you hear me?

Piper: [pushing him out of the way] Get out of my shot! [fake coughs as she looks into the camera with puppy dog eyes] All I wanted... [coughs] ...was to sell cookies at my local beach... [coughs] ...for a school charity... [coughs, then suddenly pushes back the umbrella from behind her revealing numerous boxes of cookies as well as a wacky-waving-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man that says "Piper's Cookies" on it, the camera then cuts back to her now holding a box and giving a thumbs up] Piper's Cookies! Buy a box today!

Mikey: [nodding] Oh, okay...

Maxie: Sounds about right...

 _END OF EPISODE I_


End file.
